He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
