At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
