He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
