You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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