I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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