so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
that may or may not have been my penis.
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