apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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