i need an iv and a liver transplant
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
