Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
home. puking in laundry basket.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
