no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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