I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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