I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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