I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
