he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize