**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
