I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
