It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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