I hope mine doesn't look like that
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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