I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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