He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
