I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
True strength comes from lack of pants
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
