I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
