so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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