I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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