Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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