i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
