Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
