okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
