Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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