i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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