I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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