Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
