Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
