i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
