When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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