Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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