All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
