she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
