you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
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