u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wish life had little blips of pornography
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
