girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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