idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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