I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My dick has a subreddit
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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