Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Randomize
