I'm lost and stupid without you.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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