I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
