We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
