Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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