I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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