ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
