we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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