the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
