omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
