i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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