At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
