dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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