garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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