That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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