Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
