Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
