My hair reeks of homosexuality.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
