TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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