I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
